satisfying to the mind which was not there
at the beginning of the search.
Even as I write this I have no idea what my “normal” will be this year. 2012 had been a year full of obstacles and surprises. This year is already showing some signs that it will be just as challenging. I do believe that every event in our lives, good or bad has something to teach us. Most times we will not understand that lesson right away and at least with me when I think back I was not ready to acknowledge it as a lesson, and most times I was not ready to deal with it at all. I have honestly been trying to figure out what some of the events were meant to teach me from this year and years past. I am sure in time I will understand, at least I hope so. In the mean time I will keep doing what I need to do after enjoying two weeks of relaxing times thanks to My Hero being home but now going back to work leaving me on my own again.
This morning while you are reading this I will probably be outside bundled up against the cold climbing into the tractor, starting it up to warm the diesel engine so I can go and feed the cows. I will back up the tractor then drive down the lane way, I will hop out of the warm tractor and go open the gate, hoping the snow has not drifted to high so I will not have to plow it with the tractor loader. I will go and grab two bales of hay with the prongs on the loader then drive back out the gate. I again will climb out of the tractor to shut the gate, climb back in and then head for the cows. I will be smiling while watching the cows surround the tractor excited with the smells of the alfalfa bales. There will be calves running around happy to be free. I will break the bales up and spread it around so everyone will get the part they like the best. I will park the tractor turn off the engine then do the walk about and check.
I will be thinking about My Hero back at work not at the house, back to his “normal” meaning he is not around if I need "My" Hero to help with any problems that may arise. I will talk to the Mother cows and tell them how beautiful their calves are and I will talk to the calves trying to get them to accept me as one of the herd, knowing I am making progress and they are trusting me, sneaking closer every day.
I know if my count is wrong and I have to go search for a cow maybe having a calf it will be fine as the cows are all healthy and contented with lots of shelter and bedding. I know that if there is a problem I cannot handle, I can pull out my cellphone and call Brother Dios (formerly Brother D) and I know he will drop everything and come to help. I am such a lucky girl to have so many Hero’s in my life making my life easier.
I will be leaving my snowshoes in the tractor from now on hoping everything will go well and I will be able to hop the fence and spend time surrounded by the place where all my past lessons have been figured out over time.
I do know I will be spending more time with my Mom and hopefully I will see my old family home finally be pulled down completely to rest, rather than sitting there like a long suffering leaning skeletal monument to my childhood memories. It truly deserves to rest in peace, taking all its hidden but never found treasures, and secrets with it.
I look forward to sharing these moments of my life with all of you and look forward to more of those lessons and getting back to my “normal”, whatever that may be.