Real Life and Pretending!

Jolly boating weather,

And a hay harvest breeze,

Blade on the feather,

Shade off the trees

Swing, swing together

With your body between your knees.

      William Cory

I am sitting in my Mothers living room with the TV on for no other reason than to keep my thoughts at bay. I may be seen sitting here any number of days lately. The constant noise is helping drown out the voice of negativity that I have been pushing down for weeks. I have been trying to hold on to those sunshine, rainbows and cute puppy stories for a long time but I am finding it hard. The clouds of doubt hover over my head.

I love writing Buttons Thoughts it is actually my life on paper and I am usually a happy positive person but I must say, these days that has been very difficult for me. I debated with myself if I should share this but I think I need to deal with this issue and not pretend things are wonderful all the time. Real life is sometimes not all happy times. I am sure many of you can relate. I have grown weary of pretending.

Not many people know this but my Mom is not doing very well. There have not been any Mom Thursday adventures for what seems like a very long time. I am sitting here with this dumb TV on while my Mom is sleeping in her room. This is hard. The drought issues do not seem as important to me right now.

 Today I am going to share our last Thursday adventure and I am hoping there will be more in the future.

A month or so ago I pulled my Mom out of bed and dragged her to the Jeep I told her we were going on an adventure and she did not have to do anything but sit there. I had no idea what to do so we just started driving. We have always talked while I drive. I tell her stories that I put on this blog, she likes that. She has always loved my stories and I certainly love sharing them with her. We drove for a while and I asked would you like to go to the lake? She had a grin from ear to ear and I could tell by her face what the answer would be. “Oh yes Please”.

The lake is where my Mom had a trailer and camped for over twenty some years every season. Mom and Dad’s trailer sits steps from the water. She could always be seen sitting on the dock fishing for hours. She has many friends at the lake and she loved to go out in the boat with anyone who would take her. Mom and I and sometimes Dad would spend hours sitting in the middle of the lake, our lines in the water talking about fishing and life. I loved these times.  Mom was very excited at the thought of this adventure and now seeing her face so was I.

Well this day in particular turned out a little different than I had imagined. A detour sign before the bridge we were supposed to cross sent us down a back road I had never been. Mom was happy she was just enjoying the ride. After an hour I told her I think we are lost, she did not care she said even if we do not find the lake she was happy just to see the back country. I told her we would end up in Algonquin Park if we kept going, her reply to that was “Then we can rent a cabin on a lake and wouldn’t that be fun?” I am thinking sure but I look down at the half a bottle of water we had and then my mind goes to the crock pot full of chicken stew on her counter at home set on high.  This was not a well laid out plan to start with. This probably would not make this trip stress free.

 Did I mention we did not have any cell phone reception and had not seen a house for miles? Honestly, when I looked at her face she was absolutely beaming, so I pushed those worries away. We kept driving. Finally, I seen a man out cutting his lawn, I stopped and asked directions. Just as I suspected we were far from where we should have been. I thanked him and turned around. I said Mom maybe we should head back. She replied “Whatever you think dear.” As I watched her eyes and her smile turn sad, I did not think about anything else but getting my Mom to that darn lake, no matter what.

As we eventually started passing familiar road side vegetable stands and old homesteads she knew where we were, and her excitement spilled all over me and that Jeep. We pulled up to the gate. I asked the owner if he would let us in and we drove down to the lake.

Let me just say for a lady who had been just lying in bed for a week or more doing nothing, she sure did jump out of that Jeep fast. She walked right up to her old trailer and circled it. She was inspecting the flowers someone had planted. She gave her stamp of approval, I could see all the memories flooding back and my eyes welled up with tears. She walked down to the dock. I held her hand and we walked to the end of the dock. My Dad’s old boat was still there, the new owner had painted it but we recognized the seats we had spent many an hour sitting on. I let go of Mom’s hand and she wandered over to check for minnows and check out the other boats and the view.

After an hour of wandering, yes it was that long she did not seem to tire; we walked up the hill and met a couple of her friends from long ago. There was hugging, sitting and drinking cool water with lots of memories shared. We left after another hour with an invite to return; now we had to find our way back home. Mom was now tired but extremely happy. We excitedly talked about old memories when we came to that detour sign again.

I drove around the detour sign and noticed that I had turned in the wrong direction from where the sign was directing me earlier. Everything for a reason, and I think I now know what the reason was. A real Mom Thursday adventure, it certainly was. Mom’s words on exiting the Jeep, then entering her home filled with the smells of chicken stew then back to her bed “That was a great day, Thank you.”

I sit here with the TV noise drowning out those negative thoughts and letting in only that happy Thursday memory.

Later